One of the most difficult ideas for addicts and alcoholics to understand, let alone fully accept, is that they are responsible for all of their experiences, responsible for everything that they think, say, feel and do in life. The tendency of an addict or alcoholic is to deny their responsibility for their life condition and to blame another person, place or thing for what they are experiencing. When I blame I have no power to change or transform my life.
To do recovery and to transform your life you have to assume complete responsibility for your life, total responsibility for all of your experiences. This especially includes your addiction to drugs and alcohol. You are completely responsible for creating your addiction to drugs and alcohol, for you starting to use and for you continuing to use. Most addicts and alcoholic refuse to accept their responsibility for their self destructive condition.
When I blame another person, place or thing I make up a story about me being a victim. I create that someone or some situation in life made me the way that I am today. I may look for sympathy in others and for others to even acknowledge that have been treated poorly or unfairly. I want others to tell me that I am a victim in life, that I am not responsible for what I am experiencing and that definitely there is someone or something to blame for what is happening to me.
However, when I blame and do not accept my responsibility for my life I stay stuck. I am unable to change or transform my life. I will not consider, let alone utilize, the power that I have inside me to alter the trajectory of my life. I will refuse to consider that not only are my actions and behaviors creating my life but more importantly so are my thoughts and the beliefs that I hold about life, others and especially about myself. My situation and condition is the result of my not knowing that I am a powerful being, that I do have the Power to transform.
Dr. Harry Henshaw